Square Peg, Round Hole
| Thursday 29 July, 2004 |
London squares are back in fashion again. So you would be led to believe if you read a rubbish style supplement such the Evening Sub Standard's ES or tune in to a twatstick talk show like Knobber Gaunt on Londumb Live.
'Ah Squares, dahhhhling. Berkley, Bloomsbury, St James. Lurrrvely! So honest and SO London.'
I don't think so. Piss off back to your Porsche and question long and hard exactly how your spazzer lifestyle of South Kensington, the Slug and Lettuce and Sloane Square adds any real value to the daily life of Londoners.
Historically London introduced squares into urban living as the centre of a small community. The square was a local facility to be shared and celebrated in Georgian London. If you wanted to play naked Twister with your neighbours then what finer setting than the greenery outside your front door?
Most squares now though have been sanitised and packaged up as some estate agents' ideal of a prim and proper gentrified lifestyle.
 Croquet on the lawn it most certainly 'aint |
Bonnington resembles what the scenery would have looked like if Tarzan had been shot in Sunny SW8.
To describe Bonnington as a 'hippy commune' would of course be to fall into the lazy stereotypes so beloved of our mainstream media monkeys. Croquet on the lawn though it most certainly 'aint.
Away from the enchanted garden is the restaurant with no name and no number but plenty of patronage. OK, it's actually called The Bonnington but you try finding a contact number for it. Tables are usually booked well in advance with residents sharing the cooking duties and local artists and musicians providing the entertainment.
You couldn't think of anywhere further removed than the suburbs for a comparison with Bonnington, but both share a love of curtain twitching.
Who exactly are your neighbours? What do they do for a living? Do you know anything about them apart from how she screams like a fucking banshee on one of those rare occasions when he actually finds the spot?
Bonnington doesn't curtain twitch out of curiosity though but out of a sense of community. I doubt if there are many secrets within the square but then again you get the impression that the residents just don't give a fuck.
Residency tends to be along the lines of a friend of a friend of a friend. There aren't many For Sale signs outside, despite the fact that given the central location and laid back lifestyle, Bonnington has to be one of the most desirable addresses in South London.
Shhh, don't tell the neighbours.
(click on thumbs to see large image)
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